i wonder as i wander

love, relationships, and healing

I really have to get back to writing my paper, but I just wanna vent real briefly. 

Last year before I transferred to UCLA, there was this person that I really fell for. Even though she was 2 years my junior, she was so awesome and seemed like an awesome person. I didn’t pursue anything beyond our friendship, but I honestly wanted to be her’s. She never gave off any signs or hints that she liked me and it passed. I spent the summer thinking about her and it depressed me.

Now that I transferred, I ran into her at a college even that a past professor invited to me too. I’m glad that we didn’t up getting together or even anything, she isn’t the person I thought she was. I dont wanna say she changed, but it looks that way. shes just someone now or maybe im just barely realizing - but shes someone that I’m understanding and relieved that nothing came to fruition. things happen for a reason, as freaking corny as it sounds, things just go a certain way and I like to think it weaves out the ideal situation for you in the long run

that awkward moment when you’re going to exit the building and you’re crush is walking inside and you jolt into the nearest office so they don’t notice you - shit im too old for this :-/

or maybe im just crushing on the idea of her and not necessarily her……(or whatever JLG said in that interview about 500 days of summer) 

vent

i really want to be in a relationship with someone who is like me…but still different. Like a progressive, non trad non-Christian lady, an undocumented womyn….someone who is strong, has gone seen life and is excited to start a new journey with and can protect me, just like i will too and someone who can just tell where/how/when to love them cause ill be down for anything if it means their smile. 

sentimientos

Girl I can’t get you outta my head. Just leave! Ugh, I hope this phase passes by fast, I even dreamt about her and I got all jealous when I saw her going out with another guy. 

#porque #whyher

All you need is love…

“In the end, Father Greg Boyle did not make peace in the barrio. What he did instead was profoundly change the life of every gang member he came in contact with. The change didn’t come en masse; rather, it took place on an individual basis, kid by kid, soul by soul. But although he could change them, in the end he really couldn’t save them…Not all were able to find the strength to walk through the door - and sometimes the loss feels unbearable…However, others have to understand the thing that every child must understand of a parent - if the child is to achieve true humility: Greg’s job was never to save them. It was love to them.” - Celeste Fremon, author of G-Dog and the Homeboys.

this is how i feel about most movements or sentiments in life, sucess - for lack of a better word is too superficial, far and easily mocked. people should instead just focus on building that sense of community where no feels left out or awkward. people are much more than just a label or a certain group that some sociology textbook puts out for them, love is what makes us human and sadly, there isn’t alot of being spread around.